What we deserve
21st November 2016
There I was trying to catch a wink - that seemed to have vanished as soon as I hit the bed, when as usual the brain started throwing up unfathomable imaginary sceneries. I have learnt the hard way the vainness of trying to stop this - the more you try, the harder it drives; instead, I tried to steer the process towards more “down-to-earth” issues.
I have been coveting a certain position for myself this past month or so. This desire was where I tuned my brain towards and soon enough I was up to my neck in thoughts of “what-ifs”, you know how it goes. The important point here is that I was at this fork where I was wondering what would be the best course of action if I lost to a derelict fate the desired status quo of my future. To keep working at it or Be content with what I have.
Yes, this world is very polarizing. We come across experiences that enables us to form our opinions. And as such, each person usually has different opinions and perspectives on a matter. In my case, it was the Star Wars series. Like any impressionable young guy out there, after watching them movies, I took it in my heart to be like a Jedi. More importantly, there was this specific assertment that I was in awe of and found sagity inside - “If you’re afraid to lose something, let it go”. Now, I admit I’ve never actually applied this in practice, but still it lingered in the recesses of my mind and “poured forth” when I was stuck upon this fork. But it wasn’t the only thing that came forth - it’s never so simple, is it?
Relying on technology to connect with age old quirky friend, I put forth my predicament. She was of the opinion that “Never Giving Up” is the only way through - ALWAYS. I was a bit skeptical about this, so I presented a couple of scenarios where-in that approach would result in disastrous consequences. She countered with her own hypothesis - i realized that, she was applying her own approach of Never Giving Up on me in this discussion itself. Although it didn’t leave me thoroughly convinced, it did leave a mark where I thought this approach could work in certain situations. So yeah, this thought too poured in, along with the aforementioned.
When I voiced my concerns to my room-mate, he had some opinions of his own. He said, and I quote “We get what we deserve”. I was astounded - who decides what we deserve? He retorted that our actions determine that, to which I said, in not so polite words, “My dear friend, my actions are the exact thing we are trying to plan here” He kept his stand on the “deserving” thing, which I thought could have some shred of viability to it; but NOT in the way he proposed. It seemed too primitive, too easy a way out. After considerable discussions, enough to drive his sleep away too, we came to an agreement on a theory that I believe provides a not-so-easy-but-probably-right way out.
Know these terms - “Pre-deserve”, “Accept”, “Post-deserve”. Here I put forth the theory in these terms that seemed to make sense to my sleep-deprived brain.
At the initial stage, based on your talent and actions hitherto, you have a pre-disposition to achieve your “Pre-deserve” state. For example, if you’re good at table tennis, better than anyone in your class then you pre-deserve to be on the team before anyone else from your class is considered. But does it mean you deserve to play in the State-level clashes? I think not. This is where the “Accept” part comes in, which you either do or you don’t. If you follow my old friend’s philosophy of “never giving up”, and continue to take actions in honing your talent, then at some point, you will definitely deserve to be in the State-level matches. This state is “Post-deserve” state. Now the question is, at what point do you just “Accept” instead of “Never Giving Up”. That, my friend, is quite simple. When you’re happy, “accept” it. Now, there is considerable difference between being content and being happy - but this post isn’t about that; It is about an approach to face conundrums, and I guess I’ve just given you the master key.
As I presented this to my room-mate with same flourish as I do to you now, he snorted and said “Can I sleep now?” I guess when some people just don’t see the lock, what’s the point of showing them a key? I plan to enlighten the old friend I mentioned before, yet I fear she’s too into the “never giving up” approach to ever give up convincing me otherwise. It may not late for her still, as I hope it isn’t for you too.
See, there is no one process which can solve all your problems. It’s usually an intermix of this and that, which is what I’ve tried to do and - ironically - create one cohesive process that can solve all problems. Yet, I’ll reiterate, I have yet to fully apply this in person. I did reach the “post-deserved” state and achieve the goal I coveted, but this circular has re-initiated. I haven’t yet “accepted” and probably won’t for a long time to come. But when I do, I hope I’ll be Happy. I will then close the issue and rightly consider this theory to go down as a Universal Law. Well, a guy can dream. Anyway, I hope you gleaned some such from my rattlings, or if you’re someone like my room-mate who after encountering such a philosophy tends to snore (in his defense, he does so only when he’s sleepy), I’m glad I was instrumental in helping you catch that ever-so-elusive wink. Cheerio.